Injury: The Yankees are boring and hopeless. Insult: Jon Lester’s No-hitter

When do the Yankees hit rock bottom, exactly?  I like to say that I like the game of baseball for more than just hitting, but jesus christ.  I like winning, too.  These guys have even switched allegiances to the Washington Mystics for the time being.

Alex Rodriguez comes back tomorrow, but he is not going to arrive and just immediately turn this team around.  As they showed against the mets, the bullpen is now sucking.  Ross Ohlendorf pitched like an idiot in that 11-2 thrashing last night, Joba Chamberlain has become very hittable, and Kyle Farnsworth has crashed back to Earth and is sure to wreak more havoc and kill more people than that Andromeda Strain deal.  God help us all.

Every time someone mentions that the Yankees are last place in the AL East, it’s always accompanied with the mention that they’re the best team money can buy.  They always use the same amount of sarcasm and self-satisfaction when they say it, as if they were the first person to use that joke.  Awesome, now I have to deal with all these idiots, and in a few minutes I’m going to be getting an earful about Lester’s no-hitter from a Red Sox fan.

My plea to the Yankees:  turn your season around.  If you don’t want to do it for yourself, fucking do it for me.

A few more observations about the Yankees…

Yesterday, Casey Blake hit a two-run double over the head of Bobby Abreu. The reason it was a two-run double was because Abreu failed to catch up with the ball, ran head-first into the wall and fell back in a daze. Meanwhile, the ball was harmlessly lying right next to him.

Abreu is a good rightfielder. He seems to track balls pretty well to his side and in front of him. He also has a strong throwing arm. However, he appears to be very wall-shy.

Hey Bobby, suck it up. The warning track isn’t a foot long and you’re not running into a brick wall. Can you imagine how Reed Johnson felt when he made a diving catch and risked running head-first into the brick wall at Wrigley Field? Oh, and use your hands to shield your face from the wall. Come on now, that should be a reflex.

Hideki Matsui has a 17 game hitting streak. Great job, Mats. He has really stepped up since A-Rod and Jorge Posada went down. If only Giambi and Cano could step up…

Kyle Farnsworth is actually doing a great job out of the bullpen. It’s as if Farnsworth is, uh, Kyle Farnsworth and the rest of the league is Jeremy Affeldt.

Tone it Down? Why don’t you fuck yourself?

I can’t believe how much shit Joba Chamberlain is taking from the media for his celebrations. Specifically, they are talking about yesterday’s demonstrative gestures after Chamberlain struck out David Delucci. Mike and the Mad Dog made a big deal about it.

Mike and the Mad Dog are awful. I mean really awful. They don’t know a thing about hockey. They don’t know jack shit about college basketball. They know about the San Francisco Giants (Mad Dog’s team) and the New York baseball teams. I suppose they know a thing or two about football, just like a hundred million football fans around the country. How did these guys get their jobs, anyway? I know more about sports than they do. Why don’t you give me a radio show?

David Delucci also made some comments about Chamberlain’s cathartic celebration. Since when does anybody care about what David Delucci says? Jesus…

A Good Start

This blog is not exclusively about the New York Knicks, although my first two posts concern my basketball team of choice, a once proud franchise that has been ruined by idiotic ownership and incompetent management. You remember when the Knicks were good, right? Right?

James Dolan, the fool who runs pretty much everything in and around Madison Square Garden, formally announced today that ex-Pacers GM Donnie Walsh would take over as franchise President immediately. Is this good news for Knicks fans? Yes. Jesus, it can’t really get worse, can it?

If you ask me (and no one does, so fuck you all), Walsh’s hiring is a step in the right direction, but at least two more things must happen before the Knicks may start to work back toward respectability. Dolan must not be involved with the knicks whatsoever. Hey, I say let him focus on his music career with JD and the Straight Shot.

Also, Isiah Thomas must sever all ties with the Knicks. The man has been horrible as a coach and a GM, and his disturbing optimism makes me think he’s either an aloof moron in denial or he’s living on Fantasy Island. Not sure which is true. Don’t really care. Just remove him.

Stop Smiling. You’re horrible.

These men own your life

Who would win in a fight?  They wouldn’t fight.  They would team up and destroy the world, and it would be beautiful.